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Is it possible that you hate yourself too much? Self-hatred is more than simply not liking yourself. When you self-inflict hatred, you constantly put yourself down and feel like you’re not good enough for anything.
Here, we’ll explore what self-hatred is, the impact it can have on your life, and how you can stop this type of negative chatter in its tracks.
Understanding self-hatred
Self-hatred is basically like having a little (or sometimes a giant) bully sitting inside your head. You will experience constant condemning thoughts, ones that only point out your flaws and mistakes. Some common self-hatred thoughts you might experience include:
- “You’re a loser.”
- “Why did you event try, you knew you would fail.”
- “You aren’t good enough.”
- “Why can’t you just be normal?”
You’ll put yourself down and compare yourself to others frequently. Self-hatred tends to increase over time and is usually triggered by many events over time.
How can it impact your life?
Although self-doubt is productive now and then, self-hatred is not. Struggling with self-hatred can have a devastating impact on your life. The risk of allowing feelings of self-hatred to strengthen is that over time they worsen. This can lead you to engage in destructive behaviors as you try and numb the negative self-talk.
Many people who suffer with self-hatred go on to develop destructive and addictive behaviors such as intentionally hurting themselves, developing eating disorders or turning to alcohol and drugs for relief. It can impact every aspect of your life including your relationships, your career, and the friends you include in your life. You may also stop caring about the things you used to enjoy and avoid things that make you feel better.
The impact it can have on your life makes it important to address quickly, rather than ignore it. The question is, how can you eliminate self-hatred?
Ways to eliminate self-hatred from your life…
The good news is that if you suffer from any form of self-hatred, there are many ways to eliminate it from your life and replace it with self-love.
Following are 3 tips to transform any self-hatred into self-love:
1. TAME YOUR INNER BULLY
A first great step is to learn how to tame the voice of your “inner bully”. When you notice that inner voice telling you negative things about yourself, switch it around. Stop those negative thoughts in their tracks and turn them into a positive. It is vital to do this daily to avoid the possibility of negative thoughts physically manifesting through your relationship with yourself and the people you interact with in your life.
So, if your inner bully says, “you aren’t worth anything,” switch it to “I may feel like I am not worthy, but I know that I am.” The more you counteract the negative with positive thoughts, the more positive your mind will become.
You can also make a list of all your strengths. If you struggle to come up with some, ask those closest to you. When you focus on your strengths, you won’t be too caught up in your weaknesses.
By banishing any thoughts of weakness, insecurity, helplessness and bullying, that do not reflect the truth of your being, you stand in your truth with Self-Love.
Remembering who you are and your unique gifts, reprograms your mind to invite more loving thoughts about yourself.
2. RESPONSIBILITY THROUGH OBJECTIVE SELF-REFLECTION
Know the difference between taking responsibility and self-blaming. Self-criticism can become a form of self-hatred which leads to self-blame, if left unchecked. It deprives you of being able to take responsibility and look at your own efforts or abilities objectively. It can rob you of being able to engage in healthy self-reflection, which would allow you to be more accepting of any past mistakes.
When negative thoughts about yourself arise, instead of engaging the status quo, do something different…self-reflect instead. Get out of your head and replace self-criticism or self-blame, with an objective assessment of the situation first.
Look into every aspect of yourself, and see how your behaviour – actions, inactions, and unexpressed words, affected the entire outcome of the situation. Acknowledge your mistakes with self-kindness and come up with ways on how you can improve yourself as well as the situation in the future.
For example, if you blame yourself for not being knowledgeable enough, you run the risk of drowning in frustration and possibly depression. If instead you more properly blame or criticize your habit of spending too much time watching TV instead of studying, then chances are you can discover ways to rectify the behaviour by creating more beneficial habits; and therefore, change the result.
3. ADOPT COMPASSIONATE APPROACH
Finally, work on building up self-compassion. That is, treat yourself the exact same way you would treat loved ones. Give yourself the gift of Self-Love. How do you treat a good friend? Do you “beat them up” for making a mistake? If not, why do it to yourself?
Anytime you feel tempted to treat yourself like your worst enemy, step outside of yourself and imagine how you would choose to respond if it was a loved one standing in front of you saying awful things about themselves. If it helps, journal and create some positive affirmations that resonate with you. Whenever you have a weak moment, refer to those affirmations to help you gain perspective in a compassionate way.
If journaling is not your style, then you may want to implement a daily Self-Love practice that includes meditation, self-pampering, dancing, listening to music, doing something that excites you with passion, or just being in stillness.
Overall, self-hatred can be challenging to overcome if unattended because it builds up over time. However, by being pro-active and applying the tips above, you can begin quietening your inner bully and develop more self-compassion which will eventually lead to true self-love for your entire whole, magnificent Self.
We all desire to experience a healthy relationship with Self. There’s not a person on the planet who doesn’t. Spiritually, it is possibly our highest purpose to connect to who we truly are, while at the same time, to many people collectively, with human dignity – in the Spirit of Love and Acceptance for All.
Did this article help you identify some of the ways you might be currently engaging in self-hatred?
If so, you are invited to share with readers in the Comment section below…what is one step you will take, starting today, to move toward more self-love?
Written by Nicole Casati
HEAL YOUR HEART WITH SELF-LOVE
Listen to this guided meditation to open your heart and connect to loving kindness.
